[Reading] ➻ My Life as a White Trash Zombie By Diana Rowland – Lectinshield.co.uk

My Life as a White Trash Zombie pdf My Life as a White Trash Zombie, ebook My Life as a White Trash Zombie, epub My Life as a White Trash Zombie, doc My Life as a White Trash Zombie, e-pub My Life as a White Trash Zombie, My Life as a White Trash Zombie 92ec12a333f Angel Crawford Is A LoserLiving With Her Alcoholic Deadbeat Dad In The Swamps Of Southern Louisiana, She S A High School Dropout With A Pill Habit And A Criminal Record Who S Been Fired From Crap Jobs Than She Can Count Now On Probation For A Felony, It Seems That Angel Will Never Pull Herself Out Of The Downward Spiral Her Life Has TakenThat Is, Until The Day She Wakes Up In The ER After Overdosing On Painkillers Angel Remembers Being In A Horrible Car Crash, But She Doesn T Have A Mark On Her To Add To The Weirdness, She Receives An Anonymous Letter Telling Her There S A Job Waiting For Her At The Parish Morgue And That It S An Offer She Doesn T Dare RefuseBefore She Knows It She S Dealing With A Huge Crush On A Certain Hunky Deputy And A Brand New Addiction An Overpowering Craving For Brains Plus, Her Morgue Is Filling Up With The Victims Of A Serial Killer Who Decapitates His Prey Just When She S Hungriest Angel S Going To Have To Grow Up Fast If She Wants To Keep This Job And Stay In One Piece Because If She Doesn T, She S Dead MeatLiterally


10 thoughts on “My Life as a White Trash Zombie

  1. says:

    I was in the market for a nice and easy read during my intermission for Robert McCammon s 950 page apocalyptic epic Swan Song, but like Tina Turner says in her song, We never do things nice and easy My pick was Diana Rowland s 2011 novel My Life As a White Trash Zombie, the first entry in what has become a popular series for the author I can see why This is a professionally written, emotionally satisfying zombie tale carried away with a light touch that emphasizes character over splatter.A twenty one year old white female wakes up in a hospital with zero recollection of how she came to be there Confronted by a nurse with a serious attitude problem, the girl has the impression she was involved in a car accident, but is notified she suffered a near fatal drug overdose and was found by cops on the side of a road Naked Her interrogation begins with the nurse asking her if she even knows her name Yeah, I know my damn name, I snarled It s Angel Crawford I wanted to add, And you can write it down with that pencil that s stuck up your ass, but I managed to hold it back I knew that nurses had the power to make your life suck worse than it already did, and it was clear that this bitch considered me to be one step away from starring in my own loser reality show Screw her I was at least two steps away.Angel discovers a package waiting for her at the nurse s station A cooler contains six unlabeled bottles of a brown, opaque beverage A note instructs her to drink one bottle every other day or risk becoming very sick She s informed that there s a job waiting for her at the Coroner s Office Angel is warned that if she fails to hold onto the job for a month, her toxicology results will be shared with her probation officer and she ll go straight to jail.Angel lives in Nice, a town pinned in the southeast corner of Louisiana by swamp She shares a sad excuse for a home with her widowed father, a bitter drunk who crawled into a Jack Daniels bottle five years ago after the suicide of Angel s mother Angel has an on again off again boyfriend named Randy who she remembers arguing with the night of her blackout at Pillar s Bar, but after trading the bartender a couple of joints for a Percocet, Angel s memory gets foggy.She discovers that the job waiting for her is van driver, dispatched by the parish to transport dead bodies to the morgue for autopsy No one at the coroner s office offers clues as to how Angel got this job or who is looking out for her She s shown the ropes by cocky pre med student Nick Galatas, who torments Angel by revealing she s to assist the kindly parish forensic pathologist Dr Leblanc in autopsies Angel dropped out of high school the day of frog dissection, but to her surprise, not only seems unaffected by the activities of the morgue, but finds herself getting hungry around them.As Angel builds confidence on the job, she meets a variety of characters There s her partner Derrel Cusimano, a death investigator who used to play linebacker for LSU There s a sheriff s deputy named Marcus Ivanov who under normal circumstances might be kinda hot, but Angel recognizes as the cop who arrested her for auto theft Ed Quinn is a paramedic who worked on Angel when she overdosed and is a childhood pal of Marcus Monica Gaudreau is a death investigator, who later helps Angel piece together events on the night she overdosed.Her supply of energy drinks running out, Angel receives an anonymous note urging her If you crave it, eat it. Unable to stop craving brains, Angel comes to the conclusion that she s a zombie This is verified by one of her kind, a funeral parlor driver named John Kang who confronts Angel about the deceased he s picking up from the morgue missing their brains Kang appears to be Angel s age but in reality, is old enough to be her father He s aloof and wary that Angel will cut in on his business selling brains to a zombie clientele In Diana Rowland s ghoulish but off beat vision, zombies are turned with a bite from the infected, but rather than turn into mindless flesh eating machines, maintain their regular lives as long as they mix fresh brains into their diet Failure to do so results in hunger that can turn a zombie rogue , as well as exhibit a putrid odor and ultimately, the loss of body parts On the plus side, wounds heal quickly and a feast on fresh brains summons what Angel describes as zombie superpowers increased strength and agility My Life As a White Trash Zombie completely charmed me Rather than a bizarro take on zombie activity or something that MAD Magazine might ve whipped up for laughs, this is a real novel Rowland is interested in the transformation of Angel Crawford, a woman at a dead end who s given a new lease on life Angel starts a new job, meets interesting people and stumbles onto a mystery which her new powers give her the capacity to solve In the process, she discovers self respect I stood back while Derrel shared my observations with the detective Abadie scowled and peered at the underside of the tractor, then muttered something vile I almost felt sorry for him Handling an accidental death was a walk in the park next to dealing with a possible homicide The procedures didn t change much, but the attention to detail went several notches up And if he hadn t been a dickwad I probably would ve felt sorry for him As it was, I allowed myself a perverse sense of satisfaction Hey, I never claimed to be an angel.Rowland earns points for introducing racial and sexual diversity to her cast of characters and for incorporating a variety of social issues into the story in what feels like an organic way Rather than spending the novel battling creatures, Angel struggles with drugs and alcohol, domestic violence, sexual assault and unfulfilled relationships The novel is laden with profanity and chock full of corpses, but the violence is not explicit and the sexual content is handled in a very discriminate, tasteful way The novel has sturdy construction too Like a foundation of wet cement, Rowland pours on the intrigue I was curious to find out what happened to Angel the night of her blackout, who turned her into a zombie and why That cement gets harder and harder as the story progresses and by the climax, turns into a bridge that ties everything together Rowland never once bored or confused me I actually found myself falling in love with Angel, even if she d probably look at me and wonder why some old guy was staring at her and about to get his ear bitten off.Four and a half stars rounded up to five I can t think of anything that Rowland might ve done differently to make this novel better than it turned out The superlative cover art is by Dan dos Santos, who in this interview indicated he was working his way through trailer park and lawn flamingo motifs when he hit upon a pink background contrasted with the gray skin of Angel Crawford For once, the book inside lives up to the cover.


  2. says:

    It s Zombiefest July with my freaky girls in the MacHalo group Angel Crawford is a loser and not the sharpest crayon in the box She lives in a dump with her white trash dad There s a layer of beer cans on their driveway dating back years No one does the dishes until there aren t any clean ones left Angel drinks and does drugs and has an on off boyfriend who lives in a trailer and runs a garage out of an old shed outside She can hold a job down for about 3 months But one day, she wakes up in a hospital and has no idea how she got there And on top of that, someone just hands her a decent job at the morgue Then people start getting killed in weird ways, and she s got these bizarre cravings Screw it, I m giving this one all the stars It feels like it s been awhile that I had such fun reading a book Who knew that becoming a zombie could transform a white trash girl into something better. This book has an interesting take on zombies and there is some cool world building I ve never seen zombies portrayed this way before The writing style kept me engaged from beginning to end and I am definitely interested in finding out what happens to Angelkins next Review also found at


  3. says:

    Buddy read with the oh so awesome Kat r, is for Rowland 3 StarsAngel Crawford is a loser, a high school drop out with a pill problem When Angel wakes up in the hospital, after overdosing, with flashes of memories that can t be true and big gaps in what actually happened the night before, things get strange Suddenly Angel finds herself with a cooler of energy drinks from a stranger and a new job, and a whole lot of questions My Life as a White Trash Zombie is a novel served in courses, inconsistent courses First course Ladies Gents, I have here for your dining pleasure A kale and parsley salad with shredded carrots, there s no dressing and our servers have taken away your water so have fun scarfing that down for the next hour That s right, we expect you to eat that entire plate you see in front of you, you are single handedly keeping the kale industry afloat Enjoy Second course That s right MORE kale This time we have blanched it and added overcooked liver on the side, still no water though However, you may have a small serving of this blended beverage alongside It s very healthy it s carrot, tomato and kale juice, de licious Third course Wilted spinach, that s the whole course and you must finish it I hope you re anemic like me because this shit is getting REALLY boring isn t it The same thing over and over and over again Fourth course This is the course you have been waiting three long hours for A gorgeous grilled skirt steak, marinated in a mango teriyaki glaze, with a side of garlic mashed potato and crisp apple coleslaw It s beautiful All the textures and flavours perfectly compliment each other you can even have your choice of beverage with it It almost makes the onslaught of kale and spinach worth it almost However, you only have about five minutes to eat it, then you must leave Get OUT, NOW I m finally getting my life together Too bad I had to die first.


  4. says:

    Omg I loved this book so much and can t wait to read the rest of the series My full review will be up on my booktube channel at


  5. says:

    This review can also be found at Carole s Random Life.Woo Hoo I absolutely loved this audiobook I found this book during one of audible s sales a few months ago and bought it on a whim I just hoped that it would be a fun quirky story to go along with its attention grabbing title and awesome pick cover I was instantly hooked with this one I started this audiobook while I was doing the laundry one Sunday night and I actually found myself spending a lot time than usual folding clothes just because I didn t want the story to stop Anything that can make me want to do laundry deserves a medal of some kind I really haven t had this much fun listening to an audiobook in a long time.I love a good zombie story I will have to blame The Walking Dead for that I guess These stories are just so much fun and I like how varied each one can be Angel is really my kind of zombie She doesn t throw herself a pity party when she realizes that she is a zombie She just tries her best to figure out what she needs to do in order to take care of herself Angel is smart and I really liked the way she thinks about things so spending time in her head was great.The mystery of this book really took a backseat to the wonderful characters for me There were really two mysteries in the book The main focus seemed to be about a series of deaths in the area but I found myself really wanting to find out what had happened that made Angel into a zombie That was the big question in my mind and I was satisfied with the outcome I really liked the flow of the story The pace that things were revealed was just right to keep me very interested It was a very well rounded book for me as well I wouldn t say that this book was laugh out loud funny but there were some moments of humor that I really enjoyed Angel s realization about what she is and what she wants was just a lot of fun She also shows a lot of growth during the book which was well done.I loved the narration of this audiobook Allison McLe did an absolutely fabulous job of bringing life to this story I am so glad that I went with the audio on this one because I can t imagine a better way to experience this story I loved the voices that she used for all of the characters and her southern accent really was perfect for the story I would definitely like to listen to books narrated by this narrator and plan to continue with the series very soon I would highly recommend this book to others I had a great time listening to it and would recommend to others to try it on audio if they have a chance This is the first book by Diana Rowland that I have read and I can t wait to see what else she can come up with It looks like I will be purchasing the remaining audiobooks in this series very soon because I need to spend time with Angel as soon as possible.Initial ThoughtsI absolutely loved this one Full review to be posted soon.


  6. says:

    www.melissa413readsalot.blogspot.com You re a zombie he said, tone flat and curt You eat brains What do you need to know I loved this book, I thought the different take on zombies was really cool.Angel Crawford has the unfortunate opportunity to find out what it s like to be a zombie trying to exist in the real world She wakes up in the hospital not knowing what happened to her They say she overdosed on pills, but when I found out what happened at the end I wanted to put the beat down on someone Lets just say she was in the wrong place with the wrong person at the wrong time Anyhoo, so she s left a lunchbox with some funky looking stuff blended up in jars saying that she needs to drink one a day Needless to say she doesn t know what is going on and it s nasty as all get out Uggg I don t think you will find a brain smoothie at Dairy Queen Gag a maggot Now that that is out of my system, Angel is so confused as you would be She can t even remember what happened to her until later She also has to take a job at the morgue for the drug charge Now Angel has a very weak stomach and can t understand why the site of the autopsies are not making her sick and holy crow what is that delicious aroma Who knew a brain could smell so good After awhile she finds out she s a zombie and can luckily get brains from the morgue She has to deal with other zombies wanting brains, other zombies being brain lords dealing in selling brains Really And she s also learning a lot from this hot cop that she keeps running into She is learning in a sense to become a zombie detective, which helps out when she has to find out who is now killing zombies I think this was a really cool mystery zombie book I look forward to reading the other books


  7. says:

    This was my first Diana Rowland book, so I had no expectations whatsoever I m not going to describe the plot nor write spoilers.Before reading the book I LOVED it s cover In fact I picked it up solely because of it s cool pink zombie cover I mean look at it It s pink, with a beautiful woman, piercings, blood, don t give a damn lookwhat s not to like But I must admit it, again because of the cover I didn t expect it to be any good I was just in the mood for a bad paranormal romance novel as my weekly guilty pleasure that also happened to have a cover I enjoyed looking at A book that would be fun but badly written A B Movie type of book.Now that I finished not only this but also the second book in the series I can say that the cover is definitely they worst part of the book I wish it was different because it doesn t represent the content and makes it look cheaper than it actually is.Am I making sense The novel is written in a first person perspective, which means that we get a lot of telling instead of showing The protagonist seems very real and Rowland has not tried to do her any favors in order to score points with the readers She is a white trash girl with a melodramatic story that manages to balance between being moving and cheesy pretty well The romance part is barely visible, which is one of the things I loved in this book I was really afraid that it was going to be like the Parasole Protectorate series too much fuss about a mystery we don t really care about because we all know it s just a pretense to hide the fact that the main theme is the romantic story But thankfully it wasn t The romance was not an end in itself but a natural and logical sequence of the events that took place It wasn t the main focus of the novel either The focal storyline was a mystery Ok it was a weak mystery the second novel Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues almost excels in that department but it was fun I read that Diana Rowland has worked as a morgue assistant, detective, crime scene investigator etc and IT SHOWS This was one of the most pleasant things in the book I just began reading Married With Zombies, where the couple says that they ll use zombie movies as a reference material to fight the undead and it made me chuckle because Rowland does the exact opposite She describes, through the eyes of Angel her protagonist how everything is different from the tv shows and movies, less glamorous and real That constant note of realism throughout the novel makes it even exciting and even rubs off some of it onto the wholezombie thing And now that I finally came to the zombies let me say this I HATE it when they make zombies smart I am a huge zombie fan and I want my zombies brainless dammit I have read stuff that try to have a new take on the zombie thing and utilize smart zombies, like Warm Bodies but I could only see it the fact that they are capable of coherent thought as a lazy attempt to make the zombie protagonist be eligible as a romantic interest Imagine my surprise when I realized that the smart zombies of this book didn t bother me one bit Of course this wasn t a random occurrence It happened thanks to the fairly plausible bits of explanation that exist throughout the novel as Angel slowly realizes what she has become tied in with the thorough one of what the zombie virus really is, which is explained in the 2nd book Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues This doesn t mean that there aren t a lot of hints in this one, there are However, in the 2nd book we also get to have a medical explanation It doesn t delve too deep in the subject like Mira Grant s Newsflesh Trilogy does, but it s satisfying and looks, at least to me, well though out.In conclusion I liked this one It was fun, exciting, had intelligent parts realistic information and even an honest attempt in character development It was much than I expected when I first picked it up I can t wait for the 3rd book to come out.PS.The audiobook has the most redneck sounding narrator EVER and it s FUN


  8. says:

    Five stars Immediately purchase and devour this book It is awesome A whole new take on zombies Fresh and hysterically funny Don t miss this one What I loved about this book Angel, she rocks There are so many aspects of her character that I found captivating First is her transformation Angel starts the story as trailer trash She is plagued with an alcohol and pill problem, she cannot hold down a job, she has an abusive, alcoholic father with whom she lives in a run down dump of a house with a beer can driveway When Angel wakes up in the hospital after an apparent overdose, unbeknowst to her she has already started to change Angel was turned into a zombie but she has no knowledge of the event As a zombie she is a normal functioning human except she needs to eat brains every two to three days to prevent herself from decaying Her new zombie state helps her shed the chemical dependency Then she begins to excel at and even enjoy her new job at the morgue All of these factors convert Angel to a happy, contributing member of society The beauty of Angel, is that evolving into a zombie improves her status instead of reducing her to the moaning, crazed, non functioning creature that we attribute to this genre The book has three storylines Angel s evolvement and two distinct mysteries The first story thread is for her to learn and adapt to her new zombie condition while trying to discover how and why she was converted into a zombie The second plot involves Angel seeking the indentity of the person who infected her Whoever transfigured Angel leaves only a couple of cryptic letters with clues to her metamorphisis This person also secures her position at the morgue where she has access to essential brains The third storyline follows Angel as she tracks down the individual responsible for killing and beheading people Is it another zombie These three themes all converge to make a great story I particularly enjoyed the mysterious aspect of the book This book is truly hysterically funny I snickered and laughed at Angel s sarcastic banter There is one specific commentary regarding Angel s views on people saying if you ever need anything don t hesitate to ask , in Angel s mind people should be offering to come and clean your kitchen instead of making these disingenuous statements This snarky commentary is what makes the book It is indeed laugh out loud funny And the not so much The morgue setting and all the descriptions of autopsy and embalming procedures while tactfully done might be a little over the top for some readers As well as all the slurping and ingesting of brains Don t let this deter you This book is totally worth it I wanted resolution between Angel and her father Angel progresses so far in her character development I felt that this was a key aspect that was not realized Perhaps their relationship will continue on the road to recovery in future installments I wish there was a little background information into the zombie condition Ms Rowland s zombies are not your typical zombies It would be beneficial to be further educated in her ideas of zombieism.I thoroughly enjoyed this book It was funny, snarky, unique and just a good time The cover alone is worth the price of admission I was thrilled to learn that this is the start of a new series I am excited to see where Angel and her new found Zombie Super Powers will lead her In my opinion this is a must read Get it today and put it on the top of your TBR pile and be prepared to laugh your butt off Then when you are done can you come and clean my kitchen


  9. says:

    I went back and forth from 3 stars to 4 stars I m actually settling on 3.5 stars The middle was really slow I was bored However, the ending really made up for it I think book 2 is going to rock though and I really love Angel and someone else that is revealed at the very end of the book yeah, I m so excited for book 2 to see what happens with this character.As for the boredom, I think Rowland was just trying to establish Angel s identity as a zombie I do think it was necessary as Angel was a pretty fucked up human so switching to a zombie, is not easy If Rowland didn t go through the trials and tribulations, the book wouldn t be convincing.Oh and the stuff with the dad, very realistic I should know I liked that not the situation that Angel was in but that Rowland made it so real.So even though it is just 3.5 stars, I m super happy excited for book 2


  10. says:

    Braaaains Hungry for braaaaains Brains NOW At least, that s the call of the American Zombie, genus and species unknown human bacteria virus Rowland does something unusual in My Life by creating a protagonist who undergoes a traumatic experience and gradually realizes she s one of the living dead Even though she feels almost normal Except for those pesky cravings And that body odor A fan of the genre in general, I couldn t resist giving this a try after seeing how many of my friends enjoyed it Thanks, friends GR and I are still disagreeing on who gets to delete and or use my reviews, so I ve posted the full review at my favorite sites


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